Let’s be honest—parenting doesn’t come with a manual. Most of us are just figuring it out as we go, doing the best we can with the tools we were given. But here’s the thing: even with the best intentions, we sometimes mess up. And unlike other jobs, parenting mistakes can leave long-lasting marks on our children’s emotional health.

Don’t worry, though. That doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. But if you’re open to growing as a parent, here are 10 common parenting mistakes experts warn us about—and how you can avoid them.

Video: 8 PARENTING MISTAKES WE SHOULD TRY TO AVOID

Making Every Decision for Your Child

Ever catch yourself answering for your kid before they get a chance? Or picking their clothes, food, or even hobbies without asking? Yeah, we’ve all been there.

But when we don’t give kids the space to make choices, we unintentionally tell them we don’t trust them. Over time, this can make them feel powerless or anxious. Let them pick the movie, choose their snack, or decide which sport to try. It’s not about giving up control—it’s about teaching independence.

Criticizing or Comparing Them to Others

We might think we’re motivating them, but saying things like, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” or “You always mess this up” chips away at their self-esteem. Nobody likes being measured against someone else.

Instead, focus on their efforts. Praise progress, not perfection. Remind them that everyone grows at their own pace—and that you’re proud of them no matter what.

Shielding Them From Mistakes

We hate watching our kids stumble. It’s hard not to step in and fix everything. But here’s the truth: falling is part of learning how to stand.

Letting them mess up (within reason) helps them understand consequences, take responsibility, and learn problem-solving. Next time they forget their homework or spill juice trying to pour it themselves—resist the urge to swoop in. Let it be a teachable moment.

Talking Too Much and Listening Too Little

Sometimes, we treat every conversation like a lecture. But our kids don’t always want advice—they just want to be heard.

Video: 7 Things You Should Never Say to Children

So instead of jumping into “fix-it mode,” try this: Ask open-ended questions like “What happened?” or “How did that make you feel?” Then just… listen. You’d be surprised what they’ll share when they feel safe and understood.

Avoiding Responsibility at All Costs

Sure, childhood should be fun. But it’s not a free pass from responsibility. When kids don’t learn how to help out, they grow up expecting others to clean up their messes—literally and emotionally.

Start with age-appropriate chores. Teach them that being part of a family means pitching in. Folding laundry, feeding the dog, setting the table—these little tasks go a long way in building character.

Ignoring Learning or Behavioral Struggles

If your kid brings home bad grades or keeps acting out, it’s easy to assume they’re just lazy or stubborn. But that might not be the case.

Experts say learning disabilities, attention issues, or emotional struggles can often hide beneath poor school performance. Pay attention. If something feels off, talk to a teacher, counselor, or pediatrician. Early support can make a huge difference.

Setting Unrealistic Expectations

We all want our kids to shine. But expecting straight A’s, perfect behavior, and gold medals in every activity? That’s a recipe for burnout—and resentment.

Encourage effort instead of demanding perfection. Let them know it’s okay to be average sometimes. Their value isn’t tied to their achievements—it’s in who they are.

Overcompensating for the Other Parent

Playing the “nice one” because your partner’s the disciplinarian? Or being extra strict because the other parent’s too lenient? That strategy backfires.

Video: 5 Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Life

It sends mixed signals to your child and pits parents against each other. The healthier move? Present a united front. Talk things out behind closed doors and agree on a consistent approach. Kids need boundaries, not confusion.

Doing Everything for Them (Even When They Can Do It Themselves)

Letting your kid tie their shoes, pour their own milk, or pack their lunch might take more time—but it’s time well spent. When we constantly step in, we rob them of opportunities to grow.

Here’s a trick: Write down everything you do for your child in a week. Then highlight the things they can start doing on their own. Slowly hand over the reins and cheer them on. It’s empowering—for both of you.

Not Practicing What You Preach

Telling your kid to be honest, then lying to your boss? Preaching kindness but yelling at a customer service rep over the phone? Kids don’t learn from what we say—they learn from what we do.

If you want your child to be respectful, responsible, and honest, model that behavior daily. And when you mess up (because we all do), own it. Apologizing doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human.

Parenting isn’t about being flawless. It’s about being aware, showing up, and trying again when we fall short. These common mistakes aren’t signs of failure—they’re chances to grow.

So take a deep breath. You’re doing better than you think. And every step you take toward mindful parenting is one more step toward raising strong, kind, resilient humans.