Let’s face it—we’ve all heard apologies that didn’t sit right. Maybe someone said “sorry” but left you feeling even more misunderstood. Or maybe the apology was so vague or sarcastic that it felt more like an insult than a genuine attempt to make amends.
There’s a reason for that. These are what we call non-apologies—they sound like they’re meant to mend the situation, but in reality, they dodge accountability, deflect blame, and sometimes even gaslight the other person. Whether it’s a friend, family member, co-worker, or partner, recognizing these fake apologies can help you protect your peace and avoid emotional manipulation.
Let’s dive into 12 of the most common fake apology phrases people use—and what they really mean.
“You’re exaggerating everything.”
This one stings. It sounds like the person’s offering feedback, but it’s actually a veiled accusation. Instead of acknowledging their own behavior, they shift the blame to you for being too sensitive. They don’t own their actions—they frame your reaction as the problem.
“Of course, your deals are more important than mine.”
Sounds like they’re conceding… but really, it’s pure sarcasm. This apology is soaked in passive-aggressiveness and is meant to make you feel guilty rather than validated. It manipulates your emotions and rewrites the narrative.
“I was just kidding.”
Ah, the classic. This one is a cop-out people use after saying something offensive. They toss in a quick “I’m just joking” to backtrack, but they meant what they said. Now, they want you to feel bad for not having a sense of humor.
Spoiler: you’re not the problem here.
“I’m sorry you felt that way.”
This phrase looks polite on the surface, but it’s actually cold and dismissive. It doesn’t acknowledge what they did—it simply comments on your feelings. It’s a way to distance themselves from the responsibility while still looking like they care.
Video: The Narcissists (Fake) Apology 📣
“I always apologize to you.”
This one is exhausting. It implies that you’re the problem for needing too many apologies. It also suggests that they’ve done more than enough and you should just move on. But if they keep messing up, then clearly those past “apologies” didn’t mean much.
“I probably should’ve told you.”
When someone says “probably,” they’re not really sorry. They’re unsure, noncommittal, and trying to downplay the harm. Genuine regret doesn’t sound like a shrug—it sounds like, “I should’ve told you, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”
“Don’t get offended. After all, you know how I am.”
Translation? “I’m not changing. Deal with it.” This one puts all the pressure on you to adjust your feelings instead of them taking responsibility. It’s not an apology—it’s an excuse wrapped in familiarity.
“I’ll apologize if you do too.”
Apologies aren’t business deals. If someone says they’ll say sorry only if you go first, they’re not owning their actions. They’re negotiating blame like it’s a trade-off. That’s not emotional maturity—it’s manipulation.
Video:
7 Signs of A Fake Apology
“I was told to apologize to you.”
We all remember being forced to say sorry as kids, right? But when an adult says this, it’s not just immature—it’s meaningless. If the apology doesn’t come from them willingly, it might as well be a script. And you deserve better than a performance.
“I’m sorry for everything.”
On the surface, it seems big-hearted. But in truth, it’s vague and non-specific. It dodges accountability by avoiding details. Real apologies name the mistake and recognize the impact—not just toss out a catch-all line.
“Enough already.”
If someone hits you with this after they’ve hurt you, they’re not looking for peace—they’re looking for silence. It’s a way to shut you down, not make amends. Apologies aren’t just about words; they’re about understanding and change. And this? This is just pressure to stop talking.
“I regret that it hurt you.”
At first glance, this looks thoughtful. But read it again: they don’t regret what they did, they regret that it hurt you. Subtle shift, big meaning. It’s another way to make it seem like you’re the problem for being affected.
We often accept these phrases because they look like apologies on the outside. But the emotional toll they take is real. Fake apologies chip away at trust, create confusion, and leave unresolved feelings hanging in the air.
Recognizing these phrases helps us understand when someone’s not really taking ownership. And when you notice the pattern, you’re better equipped to respond—not with anger, but with clarity.
What a Real Apology Sounds Like
A genuine apology includes three key parts:
- Acknowledging the harm – “I hurt you when I said/did ___.”
- Taking responsibility – “It was wrong, and I own it.”
- Making amends – “I want to fix this and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Simple. Sincere. No conditions. No sarcasm.
Apologies should be healing, not confusing. If someone continues to offer fake apologies, it’s okay to protect your boundaries. It’s okay to say, “That doesn’t feel sincere,” or to walk away until they’re ready to mean it.
You don’t need to accept “I’m sorry” just because it’s said. You deserve more—more respect, more honesty, more accountability.
And most importantly, you deserve peace.
