Let’s be real—romantic relationships can be confusing as hell. One minute, you’re falling for someone, and the next, you’re spiraling into overthinking mode, wondering if his affection is real or just a game. Sound familiar?

Well, you’re not alone. Many women, especially younger ones, find themselves second-guessing their relationships. And with past heartbreaks lurking in the background, it’s no surprise that trust can be hard to rebuild. But here’s the good news—there are ways to tell if he’s really into you or simply in it for selfish reasons.

Let’s break it down together, one honest sign at a time.

Video: 8 Signs of True Love

He Loves You: He Can’t Stop Looking at You

You ever catch him watching you when you’re not even trying to impress him? Like when you’re brushing your hair, laughing with a mouth full of food, or dancing around in socks and a hoodie? That’s love right there. A man who’s genuinely in love sees beauty in your everyday moments—not just the Instagram-worthy ones.

That dreamy stare isn’t just for movie scenes—it’s his way of saying, “I’m lucky.”

He’s Using You: He Doesn’t Make You Feel Special

If it feels like you’re just another contact in his phone or another dinner buddy in his schedule, that’s a red flag. You deserve to feel adored, appreciated, and acknowledged—not compared to his ex or his female friends.

If you’re constantly questioning your worth in his life, chances are he’s not giving you the respect or priority you deserve.

He Loves You: He Accepts Your Flaws Without Flinching

Maybe you overshare. Maybe you cry at weird times. Maybe your past is a little messy. Guess what? If he’s still here and still smiling at you—he’s in it for real.

Real love doesn’t flinch at your scars; it sees the whole picture and still chooses to stay.

He’s Using You: He Makes You Feel Like You’re Always Wrong

If you constantly feel guilty in your relationship—like nothing you do is ever quite right—that’s manipulation, not love. Relationships are supposed to lift you up, not make you feel like you’re in a permanent state of apology.

Video: 10 Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Love You (Even If You Think They Do)

Don’t mistake “tough love” for emotional control. There’s a big difference.

He Loves You: He’s Aware of How His Actions Affect You

Has he started to change little things to keep you happy—like texting back faster or being mindful of your triggers? That’s someone who cares. That’s someone who wants to make it work.

When a man starts becoming self-aware, it’s because he wants you to feel safe, seen, and valued.

He’s Using You: He Disappears When You Need Him Most

Plans a date but ghosts you last minute? Takes hours or even days to respond? Shows up only when it’s convenient for him?

That’s not love—it’s convenience. If you’re constantly left hanging, it’s time to hang up on him for good.

He Loves You: He Remembers the Small Stuff

He surprises you with your favorite snack after a long day. He hums that silly song you love. He knows your best friend’s name and your childhood pet.

Those tiny details? They mean he’s paying attention—and paying attention is a love language all on its own.

Video: 6 Signs Your Partner Is Using You

He’s Using You: He Refuses to Compromise

Relationships are all about meeting halfway. If you’re the one always bending, adjusting, or giving up things that matter to you, it’s not a partnership—it’s a power struggle.

Love listens. Love flexes. Love doesn’t dominate.

He Loves You: He Opens Up and Wants to Know the Real You

A guy who loves you will let you in. He’ll talk about his fears, dreams, and the stuff that hurts. And he won’t just want to vent—he’ll want you to open up, too.

That kind of vulnerability only happens when someone truly trusts you—and sees a future with you in it.

He’s Using You: He Manipulates Your Emotions

Does he know exactly how to push your buttons—then acts innocent afterward? Does he twist your words, make you doubt your feelings, or turn every issue into your fault?

That’s emotional manipulation, and it’s toxic. Love should never feel like walking on eggshells.

He Loves You: He Talks Through Conflicts with You

Arguments happen. But does he come back to the table afterward, ready to talk things out calmly? Does he listen to your side and try to understand?

That’s real maturity. That’s someone who wants to grow with you, not win a fight against you.

He’s Using You: He Makes a Scene or Gives the Silent Treatment

Look, emotions can run high—but if he’s yelling at you in public or giving you the cold shoulder for days, that’s not okay. Those are tactics meant to control, punish, or shame you.

A man who respects you will never try to humiliate you—especially not when things get tough.

He Loves You: He Shows Up When It Counts

Whether it’s a job interview, family event, or a rough day, he’s there. He checks in. He shows up. He stands beside you when life isn’t glamorous—and celebrates you when it is.

Because love isn’t just about showing up when it’s easy. It’s about being there when it’s hard.

He’s Using You: You Feel Like a Backup Plan

Do you get the sense that you’re not his first choice? Like he turns to you when things are dull or when other plans fall through?

That’s not partnership—that’s being someone’s “just in case.” And you deserve better than second place.

Here’s the truth: Love doesn’t confuse you. It doesn’t leave you feeling anxious, unsure, or constantly questioning your worth. Real love feels like a soft place to land—a space where you’re valued, supported, and safe being your full self.

And while no relationship is perfect, the right one will never make you feel like you’re not enough.

So, if he’s loving you with honesty, presence, and care—hold onto him. But if he’s just stringing you along for his benefit? It’s okay to walk away.

Your peace is more important than a maybe.